Dieting

I see myself as fat.

Not extremely fat or anything but i  tend to hang out with people much skinnier than myself.

I am pretty biased, and i do sometimes judge on the way people look, but it's not a habit. I'm not proud of it or anything, but i do recognise it at times when i say things i shouldn't.

So i like the REALLY skinny look. Not thr anorexic, but the skinny look! I find it quite attractive, and ofr someone who doesn't really have hips, such as myself, i think that look would suit me. It would bring out my hips and mmake me fit in with the rest of my family.

 I'm pretty short and fat compared to the other girls in my family. I've come up with my own theory for why i'm short. I think it's because of the amount of sun we get. Like plants, i thiink humans grow in the same way. Because we get a lot of sunlight we tend to not grow towards the sun, and also because we stay inside we get the sunlight we need, but we tend to go out at night so, we don' t really sleep and so on. Whereas in other countries like England or cities like New York, there are a lot of clouds in the skies,  and people will grow towards the sun. Also, i'm fat because here in saudi arabia, all they can really advertise is food. Everywhere you turn there's food. And there's not much to do but eat. When you're really bored, you eat! Some have grown out of the eating habit and moved on to drugs or drinking but most of us eat and sleep. I eat and sleep. I've seen the gruesome effects of eating and sleeping and i really want to stop that habit. But being a girl, this is almost impossible for me out here; People in other lands are lucky enough to walk to places or ride their bikes etc.

So i've decided to go on a 'diet'. In the past i've failed at this so now im not going to look at it as a regular diet. Then again, its not a regular diet; I'm taking a different approach to things. I'm either goingt to starve myself to beauty or try the 'diet solution' thing. Starving myself might be easy, but i tend to reward myself a bit too greatly which means all my works would go to waste. And finding the right foods in a country like this one would take me forever. I really dont know what i'll do. I'll starve myself and eat the right foods i can find if i feel fatigue and nausea. I'll try to work out every friday or so and drink a lot of water and energy drinks to stay alive. I learnt that natural fruit juices arent so natural or good for you. They are full of sugar and prevent you from burning fat because they create insulin which drops your body sugar level and that's bad because it makes you have cravings. It's crazy cycle our bodies take and whats worse is its different for every person due to our metablolism.

Well it's a new day, let's see if i can get skinny in a month. Hopefully this won't be a disgraceful fail.

My motto for the next 30 days is "I DONT EAT" I'll see if mimo wants in. She's always wanting to get skinny. AMerica ruined the both of us. :/ Ahahah!

Ugh, FML!