Emancipation

Not sure what the word in title of this post means :z
I just like it ;)

So here's today's post.
My diet is going marvelously, thank you very much. NAAAAT
Come on, you all know me too well to go on a diet. I'm from Belgium. All we do s eat. We have th stomachs for this type of thing. Ugh, i don't know hoz Justine and the Mathy's do it. I guess they're not proper bëlge. So yeah, I failed at starving myself cos i had KFC and ate at school. Incase you haven't guessed. That means i've been eating MORE than usual :s I must be really bored. I'll try tomorrow.  It has to be 30 days from the the day i start. Ahah! That might take me a year to accomplish. Maybe i should starve myself for a week. Yeah thats what i'll do. Segment my long term goal of being SUPER SKINNY. Yeah, a week then a week and a bit, then 2 weeks and an eating session between each or i'll die. I hope it works... *fingers crossed*

School life is awkward. Appart from the eating theres been a few noticeable changes. I've stopped talking to the anwars. "Its about time" ahah. Okay, just because i'm not talking to them doesn't mean were not friends. Well technically it does but that gives you no right to talk about them in that way. I was once friends with them and i'd appreciate it if you didnt ;) Noorhan's the falsest person i've met. i can't even say she's two faced because i'm not quite sure how that works anymore. So i'm going to say she's false. Like that guy in summer camp (Thierno) Ahah. I love Cemre more than ever these days <3 Finally have more time for here (melekler) ahah, you'd think we were dating. Zee is just zee, i cant find the words to describe her. Haha, random factoid: I find myself within armswidth of Farah Shrouf today. We were together, didnt talk or anything but we were in the same group. Twas weird. And Alia saved my life from her today aswell!  LuLu<3 Tarek Radwan's been stalking me on facebook and out. He knows a lot! I dont like to talk about the past very much, excluding memories, souvenirs and laughter moments. I should be mefiant of him; he scares me a little. This quarter i have 3 c's and thats a terrible thing through my eyes. Classes only get harder from here on!

Out of school is even more of a guess. Going back to my regular life where i fend for myself and for my truly loyal entourage is a bit weird. Contrarily to being nice to everyone, being nice to the people who 'matter' is much more liberating. Glitter is acting really strange around me these days. I've lost my ability to decipher people and so i'm struggling.  My train of thought has derailed and i can't make good judgement of things as i used to. My speaking has worsened to over the past few months and i'm afraid i'm heading nowhere. My love life's gone down the toilet and i'm not sure i can reach to get it back, i'm not sure i even want to.  My personal life's a bore and my relationships are scattered all because of the decisions i make. I cant choose wisely anymore. I just wanna blaze and pretend i'm dead for 3 more years. Speaking of, Mimo brings home coke from school. Is she insane !? Ahah, La Fouine, Co-Cocaine dans l'jean ;) A lot of people know her drug dealer 'AJ'.  Ah, guess who comes online. Glittery. Lol i call him that because his last name is shammary and alia pronounces it shimmiry which is like shimmery as in shiny or glittery so yeah. Yes, i see that im bored too but i cant bring myself to doing hw :/

Today i haven't done much. Came home; ate; msn; pissed; facebook; slept; woke up; drank; msn; and here i am now. My downstairs TV is a bust and both my ipods have no battery. I slept pretty late last night which was normal but it irregulated my irregular sleeping pattern into a regular teen one, ahah >;< I haven't watched TV properly in ages and now it feels weird to do so.. I feel uncomfortable in my skin in everything i do. Ifought with Rania's bf. Considering i helped them get to together, i don't think he's been very good to me. I give you the love of your life and you give me 'this'. I'd rather sell newspapers than help another person get the love of their life. I am magic, i can get them the happiest nearest to perfection love, if i can make them think it anyways yet i cant find myself a suitable guy? I just wish i could run away and create a fairybook life for myself to live in. Yesterday,  i talked to my good friend Dana. We met on netlog and have been insepparable ever since. We  dont talk as much as we used to butt i think we're still as close ;) And yesterday she was the only one who cared. Always has bin. After talking to her... i held on to one phrase she said. It was question she asked me and it's marked me. I'm not sure why just that one marked me but it did. " How do you stop the bleeding" My answer was as witty as it was untrue. I just loved the question. I reqlly didnt know what to answer but i always have an anwser for things whether or not i believe in it. I answered to be optimistic, but how do you really stop the bleeding?

Ugh, FML!