Ruru, you are no longer mine. I leave you in the hands of another.

I love you so much that when that love turns to hate well..

what could it be that triggers this hate? Did you have to stab me in my back? Did you have to humiliate me in front of a bunch of people? Did you have to speak my secrets to every person with a pulse? Did you have to totally zone me out? Did you have to lie to my face?

No. None of that.
All you had to do was speak the words you did. They were enough to break my already shattered heart into a million more pieces. After all the things you have said to me, insulting me in a way that was unjust and uncalled for, why be so hypocritical? Can you just stop being 'that' #2 and fucking get your own characteristics. It's not difficult being yourself y'know. But the fact is that you are her clone and so I would expect nothing more from you. Make yourself comfortable because you're 2 people sitting on one seat. I hope the seatbelt fits or else.. And because you are the second 'that' you are also inferior. You are just that bit worse than she is. To think you would have rather gone to your original than to have continued conversation with me disgusts me really. I used to be your confidante, and you mine. But I don't blame you. You're just out of your mind and in hers. I just hope you grow into yours in time. 

Do you think I'll make you try and repair the damage? No, I wouldn't want you to cut yourself trying to reassemble something that's beyond repair. There's nothing you can do for me now but leave me alone. Dig yourself a grave and sit in it. Please. Because right now all my love is being used in anger and hate and its all towards one person: you! Because you were once my best friend. Because you were the one who lied to me. Because you were the one who used me. Because you were the base of it all. Was it a plan from the start? I do wonder. I don't want to hurt you, so I'll let you off easy. And no I'm not stupid, I know better; next time I won't be so forgiving.

Now you're not only hurting me but you're hurting my friends too and that's not okay with me. I will come and fuck with your face if I have to and not you, nor your sex partner, nor you original, nor your tag-along can stop me. The traitor will get her just desserts and I'll see to it!

All I want to say is please don't hurt me like that again. If not for my sake, then for yours. I don't think I could take another blow like that again.

Thank you (:


Also a post from my memos on my phone. If i ever let you look, you could find some interesting stuff there, haha. But it's too long to bother reading!