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Do winners always win, or do losers always lose? Does there have to be one of both to every game or can we have the chance to choose?
I've lost it all. I tried to get it back, but they told me not to try too hard. It was like trying to put out a huge fire with a bucket of water. I lost my mind a long time ago and I've been losing everything vital ever since. I guess I chose to lose, whether I meant to or not. Was I really that careless in caring for my possessions or were they never mine to begin with? If tears were unable to evaporate, I would've drowned in mine a long time ago. It is almost impossible to think that I ever had anything at all. I played a game and I lost it all. I lost everything. I lost my precious diary to a man who had no business in my life. I lost my boyfriends to girls that logic would dictate aren't any better than me. I lost my friends through words that I don't remember why they were even uttered. And then I cried, losing tears for people who wouldn't have shed but one fake one.
I shouldn't care. I shouldn't care that my diary, with a thousand and one of my deepest thoughts, is in the hands of a total stranger. I shouldn't care that I always get dumped out of pure madness. I shouldn't care that my old friends don't want me in their lives anymore. I shouldn't care that she would rather speak to 'that' rather than me or anyone else for that matter. I REALLY shouldn't care.
But I do and therefore, I lose.
I've lost it all. I tried to get it back, but they told me not to try too hard. It was like trying to put out a huge fire with a bucket of water. I lost my mind a long time ago and I've been losing everything vital ever since. I guess I chose to lose, whether I meant to or not. Was I really that careless in caring for my possessions or were they never mine to begin with? If tears were unable to evaporate, I would've drowned in mine a long time ago. It is almost impossible to think that I ever had anything at all. I played a game and I lost it all. I lost everything. I lost my precious diary to a man who had no business in my life. I lost my boyfriends to girls that logic would dictate aren't any better than me. I lost my friends through words that I don't remember why they were even uttered. And then I cried, losing tears for people who wouldn't have shed but one fake one.
I shouldn't care. I shouldn't care that my diary, with a thousand and one of my deepest thoughts, is in the hands of a total stranger. I shouldn't care that I always get dumped out of pure madness. I shouldn't care that my old friends don't want me in their lives anymore. I shouldn't care that she would rather speak to 'that' rather than me or anyone else for that matter. I REALLY shouldn't care.
But I do and therefore, I lose.
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